Two If By Sea (1996)


“Honey, these are cops. They’re like garbage men with guns. ” – Frank

Number of Times Seen – 1 (9 Feb 2020)

Brief Synopsis – After stealing a valuable painting, two thieves pretend to be house-sitters in a very exclusive neighborhood.

My Take on it – This is a film that I had heard of when it came out, yet never got around to seeing what it was about.

It’s unfortunate that I finally chose to check it out because it really is terrible.

Sandra Bullock was in her prime when this movie was made and Denis Leary was also quite popular at the time.

It’s too bad tho that they absolutely no chemistry together and the fact that they are meant to be in a relationship is quite unbelievable the whole way through.

With the way that they act towards one another throughout the film, it constantly makes the viewer wonder why the screenwriters actually believed that these character would wish to be together.

When one takes into consideration that the film is a pseudo romantic comedy, it makes it even more baffling to watch these characters interact.

The film’s plot is extremely silly and they never seem to find a way to even make things seem interesting in any way.

Yaphet Kotoo is also wasted here in the role of an FBI agent with an Irish name.

The film’s story is quite strange and things get even stupider and stupider as thing unfold.

Bottom Line – Horrendous film that doesn’t work on so many levels. Bullock and Leary are both great actors but they have no chemistry what so ever together in this film and that hurts the fact that they are suppose to be in a relationship. Adding to that that is story is a pseudo romantic comedy, their lack of believability as a couple detracts so much from the story. The story itself is quite silly and fails to find ways to be interesting to the viewer.  Even Kotto is wasted in this film playing an FBI agent with an Irish name.  The plot is pretty strange and gets stupider and stupider as things move along. Stay Away!

MovieRob’s Favorite Trivia – During filming Sandra Bullock discovered she is allergic to horses.  (From IMDB)

Rating – Razzie Worthy (3/10)

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