Hardbodies (1984)


“Listen, kiddo, I always treat my business partners right. May God rest their souls.” – Rocco

Number of Times Seen – 1 (2 Nov 2020)

Brief Synopsis – A group of single middle aged men hire a young stud to teach them how to get women.

My Take on it – This is truly a horrendous 80’s sex romp that fails in so many aspects.

The plot is almost non-existent and makes very little sense the whole way through.

Like most films of this genre, the characters only have one thing on their minds and that is the driving force the whole way through.

The fact that none of the trio of middle aged men are charismatic or for that matter likeable hurts things even more since there is absolutely no reason to convince the audience to root for them.

None of the various characters in the film are developed beyond a superficial level which also makes things quite hard to care about anything that happens to them along the way.

Bottom Line – Really horrendous film that makes no sense what so ever. The plot is a similar one to many 80’s sex romps and things move along in one direction only. The fact that none of the trio of middle aged men are charismatic also hurts things too much because there is no reason to root for any of them.  None of the characters are developed on more than a superficial level and that is also quite problematic here.

MovieRob’s Favorite Trivia – Director Mark Griffiths said of this movie’s filming: “The first day of production we shot the title sequence, in which lots of gorgeous girls relax on the beach, listen to music, cover their bodies with tanning oil and generally hang out on the beach and in the water. When we moved locations, we piled five of the girls into a Mercedes 450SL and drove around with the top down. Well, we literally stopped traffic. People waited in intersections and cars made U-turns to get a better look at the girls. And when we had the film processed, even the guys at the lab said they could make a fortune selling tickets to our dailies!”. (From IMDB)

Rating – Razzie Worthy (1/10)

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